...sigh...

HOLY CRAP! (said a la Peter Griffin)

It's Tuesday already.

I feel really stuck lately. It's like I'm on the verge of a major transition in my life. I can feel it happening beneath the surface but I just can't make it all make sense.

My job is kinda boring. I do office administration and bookeeping. You know, pay bills, track expenses, invoice clients, keep things tidy, filing, opening mail, collection calls, and anything else that my employer needs me to do around here. I never had any formal training in this area but am an organizing freak and love to help people solve problems, so it seems to work out well. I'm also helping my employer plan the next big move with her business. We get along great so it's pretty painless. I'm also learning lots about the ins and outs of running a small business. One day, I would like to be doing all this stuff for my OWN business.

I just want to make art and stuff all the time. On the weekend, Kirk and I found 2 whole series of craft/crocheting/sewing encyclopedias from the late 70's - about 40 volumes in all. So I have a lot of planning to do to start using them to make stuff that I can give as gifts for holidays and birthdays and stuff...maybe even sell. Then I want to plan to do something with all of my digital photography and artwork, even if it's to get more of it framed and up on the wall. My goal with these is to do some kind of show/sale with it - at some point - maybe next summer. i'm going to also try and get out and see more art - try and soak it all in - find some inspiration.

Things with Kirk are amazing. We have our good and bad days like everyone else, but the good days are starting to outnumber the bad - which is a major shift - compared to the first 2 years we lived together. We're both learning to compromise and communicate in a way that doesn't hurt ourselves or the other person, which makes things more light and fun when we need it to be. PHEW! For a while there, I think we were both convinced that it might not work out. It's been 6 years now, and we're finally realizing how lucky we both are to have each other and that there's nothing we can't work through together.

All this, plus taking care of a dog that is more like a person than a pup, spending time with my family, trying to eat well, work out, blog, go to massage therapy and trying unsuccessfully to keep my home clean, I have very little time left over to spend with friends - who I love dearly and miss like crazy.

When I was in my early 20's it was easy...but now that I'm quickly approaching 30 it seems impossible...sigh...30...I'm not sure what to feel about this upcoming birthday (it's in February). Part of me feels like this is just another year, but everyone else I run into seems to think it's super important. Maybe because it's the beginning of a new decade in my lifetime. I wonder how much that has to do with how I'm feeling over all.

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like a lot of people I know/meet who are roughly my age are going through similar changes in their lives. What do you think?