what a jealous bitch

jealous bitch

the moo gets so jealous when i pay too much attention to oscar. but how can you not???



newest piece

'buttercup', 16x20, oil on canvas


portfolio interview is done aaaaaaand done

i managed to get all my artwork strapped to a luggage carrier and had planned to walk it all the way to the school but figured it was safer to call a cab. I managed to drag the whole thing down the two flights of stairs to the door, praying that i would NOT sprain my fucking ankle again or some other completely ridiculous injury i generally sustain (seriously. i am a total klutz) when i'm nervous or not really focussed on what's in front of me - imagining the explanation i would need to give doctor as to why a whole canvas was lodged in my brain.

my cab pulled up just as i was hauling the awkward bulk out the door. i quickly realized i hadn't exactly considered canvas size versus mode of transportation size, but the cabbie jumped out, carefully placed it all in the trunk and assured me he would get me and my stuff there in one piece. sigh of relief. promise kept, he even helped me get it all to the front door. so either he was super nice, or he was pleased about the ridiculously huge tip. probably both.

i got all signed in a waited for about 10 minutes for someone to call my name. the waiting area was mostly filled with soon to be high school graduates and their parents who, besides faculty, were basically the only other people there over 30. when i finally made it to the interview room, i was told i had about 15 minutes to set up, which was fairly easy, except for the thought of having to manoeuvre the hulk on wheels i was dragging behind me through the rows of tables and chairs. so i chose a spot at the front of the room, also so i could use the whole corner wall space for leaning paintings, which worked incredibly well. then i had nothing to do but sit and wait to be interviewed by 2 faculty.

the first interviewer was nice enough, and seemed interested in me and my work. she told me that she LOVES mature students and hoped i would get in. the second interviewer didn't give me anything to go on at all. he took his job as seriously as only a middle aged i've-seen-it-all-so-you-don't-impress-me-bitch gay man can. i packed everything up again and wheeled it into the english placement test room, where i had to read and write a response to an article written by a current student.

then it was just over. sort of anticlimactic really (kind of like this post). anyway, now i have to wait until the end of may to find out if i get in.

karl pilkington

is a funny, funny man.

the ricky gervais podcast series is almost done. download while you still can.

oh and the interview went well. post coming soon.


how winning an award can make you feel like shit

when i was 16, i won the 10th grade visual art achievement award. that year was one of the most exciting i had ever had. my crazy egyptian high school art teacher took a group of students to paris, france for a week. that and i had started dating my first boyfriend. anyway, it took about a whole month of wheedling and emotional manipulation for my mother and i to finally convince my father to let me go. we visited the louvre, the georges pompidou centre, the musee d'orsay, montmartre and all the usual tourist-y spots.

we also took a day long drive to brittany see mont st.michel which was a total nightmare. first of all it's about a 6.5 hour drive from paris to mont st michel. then about 10 minutes after we piled out of the van, i got my period and the WORST cramps in history. I spent the whole 2 hour visit there alternately sleeping in the van and puking my guts out into the atlantic ocean while my friends were visiting one of the most beautiful monastaries in france. then we drove back. THE SAME DAY.

ok. back to the award story. at the end of that school year, my teacher decided to grant me the visual arts academic achievement plaque at the awards ceremony, even though a good friend of mine had better grades. when he called my name, i was shocked. i was SO SURE she was going to win it. in fact i had wanted her to win it. she was so talented, focussed, competitive and dedicated. i was just having fun learning. she was livid, gave me the EVIL eye and a couple of her friends hissed and booed me as i walked up to the podium to accept the plaque.

i didn't know what to do. i felt so humiliated and happy at the same time. i mean, it was great to be recognized, but i wasn't willing to lose a friend over it. afterwards, i went to talk to the teacher, pleaded with him to give it to her. that SHE deserved it. he told me that it was HIS decision and he stood by it. i was crushed. she and i eventually made up but our friendship was never the same.

when i chose my courses for the following year, i decided i didn't want to deal with that shit and never took art again. the experience left me totally freaked out and creatively blocked. i tried to draw and paint on my own, but ended up hating everything i did as it just reminded me of the humiliation i felt. so i just stopped. i decided it was better to just appreciate it rather than make it. which is what i did until about 5 years ago when my mom gave me gift certificate to take art classes with katrina (i'm re-doing her website over the next few weeks so please don't hold it against her) which changed my life.

any now it looks about to change again. tomorrow is my interview at ocad and i'm super nervous. AND excited. if anyone is reading this, send me your positive vibes and high fives.


p.s. HOLY SHEEEEEIT! I think I'm gonna poop myself in jubilation.





I passed 8th grade science!

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 7/8 correct!

phew! thanks squid. i was worried there for a minute. you know, with me planning to back to school and all.