my horoscope for this week - courtesy of the onion

Pisces: (Feb. 19—March 20)
An important warning sticker will be missing this week. The stars can't tell you where it should be, but it should say "Caution: Rotating Knives."

What's yours?


Open Studio This Sunday!

Things are really looking up with my artwork.

The studio where I paint is having an open studio this Sunday and our instructor, Katrina, asked me to being a few of my paintings in to display as well as to actually paint during that time!!! Then she told me that she had placed an ad in today's paper and my name is on it. NEAT! It's the 2nd publc exhibition of my work in her studio (last time was 2 years ago).

Then in May, I'll be exhibiting at some of my photos at Contact 2004. Oh yeah...I'm also working on pieces for a show of my pet portraits sometime later this year.

I'm so excited I could....I could....well...NOT STAB SOMEONE! YAY!


i feel better now


The knot that's been sitting between my shoulder blades since 3:30pm this afternoon has finally eased.

Now I can sleep


Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.- G. Carlin

Dear middle-aged burnout,

Eat shit and die.


When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Hunter Thompson found safe!!!!

I got lost in the time vortex. The TARDIS brought me home.


Dr. Who is coming. Dr. Who is coming!!! HE was my favourite.

Oh my gawd, guys....I'm such a geek.



Can someone please explain the logic used to determine STABBING another person as the RIGHT way to solve a problem?

My little po-knee

Can I have this puleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese?? hunh? Can I? Can I?


When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University!

OKay folks, I've got a new gallery up of shots taken in Montreal. Check it out, yo.


back with a vengence

Montreal was great. Spending 4 whole days with my mom was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Our plan was to hit as many art galleries as we could. Instead we went shopping, which was good, cause my wardrobe has been lacking. Seriously lacking.(I can totally relate to you kalli!)

I've been second handing it for a while, and I would say for the most part that it's worth it. Except for the last little while I've been feeling pretty frumpy. So some new clothes definitely boosted my ego...especially since I can now walk into lots of stores and find SOMETHING that fits me (Thank you Marc and your ass-kickin' work outs).

We DID manage to get out and see some art in Old Montreal on Sunday and ma favourite gallery there is Yves Laroche. They have a great selection of works by very diverse artists. We spent almost 2 hours there just trying to take it all in. Yum!

I'm definitely going to be dragging Kirk's ass down there sometime this spring/summer.


cya next week

Leaving for Montreal in the morning (fuckin' 6:30 am) with my mom.

Taking the train. First class.

Will be back on Sunday night.




Spalding Gray's brilliant struggles

.: T E C H N O S E X U A L :.

I think these guys need a little less techno and whole lot more sexual.

burning hot tea just shot out of my nose

I love The Onion

smooth as a baby's bum

Nebraska Mayor Implements Shaving `ban'

Besides the fact that it's obvious that Nebraskans need a hobby, did anyone else notice the mayor's name?





Let's gance!

Here are some alternate "gances" that are sure to please (courtesy of my sexxxxxxxy loving partner Kirk):

The Pooper Scooper: where one guy pretends to be a dog, takes a dump and the other picks it up.

The Last Tango: one guy grabs stick of butter and jams it in othe guy's ass for lube; then pounds him in the ass.

The Crystal Dick: were the guy masturbates furiously on the dance floor to no avail and the other guy just leaves.

The Prince Charles: one guy gets on his knees in front of the other grinds his face into the other's lap; just two guys having fun, doesn't mean anything.

The Redneck: where one guy beats the shit out of the other, then picks him up, apologizes, tells him how much he loves him and buys him a beer; variations include simply pushing the other into the bonfire.

The Yellow Brick Road: where one guy pees in the other's ass then before he takes a dump.


Gah....the excitement is over

For the first time ever, I wish that birthdays could last way longer than a day. Kirk worked so hard getting everything together so that I could have a stress-free, relaxing weekend. Here's the run down.

Friday (27th)
I worked out with my brother, which was, well, pretty painful. He did a fitness assessment which helped me determine a few things for me:

1. I need to strengthen my abs so I can do more than 17 proper situps.

2. I need to strengthen my abs and pecs so I can do more than 20 proper push ups (the wimpy girlie kind).

3. I'm doing pretty good in the cardio department, so I jus' gotta keep on truckin there.

4. I have 32% body fat, which I need to bring down to somewhere between 26% and 29%. In October when I started working out it was at 35% so at this rate, it just may happen before the summer.

5. I weigh basically the same as I did when I started...now I just have more muscle - so for all you fat busters out there, get out your measuring tapes and go for reducing inches instead of pounds. Water retention can make you weigh 2-5 pounds more!

6. I love having a personal trainer - and I HATE exercising. Sure it IS my brother and he is helping me for free...but I can't believe what a difference 1.5 hours can make once a week. Now that I know I can commit to that, I'm considering joining a fitness class of some kind. Hm...maybe yoga, or kick boxing, or dancing... I just have to get over my fear of making a total and complete arsehole out of myself in front of others. Any suggestions??

Anyway, Marc (that's my bro) and I had lunch together and just talked for an hour afterwards. I never would have thought that I would actually look forward to spending time with my bratty little brother...but I do.

Later that evening I met Kathleen for dinner. We went to Okonomi House for some deeeelicious okonomi. I won't bother explaining what it is, just try it if you ever get the chance. Then we dragged out full tummies back to my place for an even more delectable chocolate decadence cake from Daniel et Daniel one of my favourite caterers in Toronto. After having worked out like crazy and then gorged on so much food Kirk had to tuck me in at 10:30pm.

Saturday (28th - MY BIRTHDAY!!!)
I woke totally refreshed and a little sore, but I was determined not to sit on my ass all day. My friend Jode had an art show, and we bought a small canvas of his. I really love his work, I couldn't resist. Then we trucked around Queen West. We did a lot of window shopping and stopped in to see Kate at the Fresh Collective and Kirk bought me a couple of really pretty and inexpensive rings. Then he took me to the Australian Boot Company to get me a new pair of boots, since my old ones look like I trekked across the outback 10 times over. I usually DESTROY shoes and boots in one season. These lasted 3.5 years. I swear by my Blunnies and wear them religiously when I'm not wearing my birks. I know they're not all sexy-like, but FUCK IT. The only time I'll suffer for pretty shoes is if I've got a formal do to attend (which happens almost NEVER).

After that we walked all the way home to Cabbagetown and had a whole mess of Japanese food (again) for dinner. Kirk had tempura and I ordered the sushi pizza. Then we slept like little piggies in blankets until about 9pm, which was kinda unfortunate since we were supposed to meet Ren and a whole bunch of people at Andy Pool Hall...at 9pm but didn't get there until 10pm. When we arrived Missy had set up a small lounge area with a MASSIVELY HUGE sign just for me! With balloons and everything! That's when I started pounding back the gin and sevens. I think everyone and their mum was smoking in that place, so most people left by midnight. Missy, Melissa, Kirk and I checked out around 12:30 and headed over to the House on Parliament for some Jager. Kirk and I staggered home dragging the sign and ballons with us, since Missy made me bring it in to the pub. Slept like a fuckin' rock.

Sunday (28th)
Kirk drove our sorry asses to my parents place in our car at around 1:30pm (gold 1988 Volvo 240 DL wagon - A BEAUT!) and we had a gigantic Italian feast with my mum, dad, grandma, aunt Nancy and brother. Then about an hour later, the whole rest of my family showed up, along with some old family friends! I was so surprised that so many people showed. We ate lots more (cause that's what Italians do when they party) and opened presents. Didn't get home until 8:30pm. I did rake in a bit of dough which will come in handy for the trip to Montreal my mum is taking me on!

I feel so blessed.

and bloaty from all that food!!! NO MORE!!!!

oh my gawd, guys!!!

Not sure what to wear to the prom?

Here's some ideas

it's official!

god hates shrimp