Two things you NEVER want to see

A friend of mine is a nurse in a palliative care facility. Yesterday her assistant was called to one of their resident's rooms for help. An elderly gentleman (I use this term loosely) wanted to shower and needed her help. When she arrived he was naked and sittin gin a chair. He was holding a bottle of shampoo and asked her to pour the shampoo for him...ON HIS CROTCH. Being the consummate professional that she is, she didn't really think anything of it, poured the shampoo and left. A few minutes later the same person calls for her again and as she opens the bathroom door he BLOWS his load all over himself and tells her that they make a great team. The poor woman worked the rest of her shift like a trooper since she had the next day off. I don't know how she managed. I felt sick just hearing about it.

Then this morning, I was stopped at a red light on my way to work and glanced in the rearview mirror. Only to be presented with the lovely image of some dude in the car behind me who was totally wanking it. I thought...no way...that's not...he wouldn't... Then as I drove away I checked the rearview again (HEY, it's a rearview and I was driving) and I noticed he was bouncing up and down and he kept throwing his head back and was driving with his left hand only.

I was so grossed out I totally had to tell EVERYONE at work about it. And now I'm telling the INTERNET.

Just sharing the love y'all.


Dave said...

How the HECK can you tell that from your rear-view-mirror? *ROTFL*

poopee shmoopee said...

my 82-year old grandmother could have figured that one out

Travis said...

I don't think I'm coming back here anymore.

poopee shmoopee said...

awwww c'mon trav.